More on Friends!
Queen Me shares ...
The topic of friends continues to be a 'hot' thread on our forums. To see what I mean go check out the additional thoughts and ideas that others have added.
(http://queenme.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~391.asp).
And there is more ...
Have you ever had a friendship go sour? Sure you have. We all have. While finishing Grab the Queen Power I started thinking about old friends. Not one to confront, hold a grudge or be insulted, friends usually drift out of my life due to logistical issues—like distance. Another reason former friends and I part ways is change—meaning the “things” that initially brought us together no longer serve one or both of us.
Not too long ago, I found some interesting words written by author, Stuart Wilde. “Don’t suck on people emotionally or intellectually.” More recently in my life, I have become a little more selective about who my friends are. Quite frankly, I’m looking for women that inspire, motivate and energize me. If I find myself in the company of someone that does the opposite, I’m typically out of there, and how! Something else Mr. Wilde said resonated: “When you lean psychologically or emotionally on people or toward them, it’s a sure sign of insecurity. It makes others feel uncomfortable. They resent the weight you are laying on them, and they will react by denying you.”
Okay, admittedly, I have been on both sides of the fence. Now, I tend to be on the far side . . . the one that tucks tail and runs to avoid an energy drain. Here's where I've had trouble in the past. In an effort to not be troublesome or needy, I usually didn't lean enough. And still I resist asking for help. But, I'm learning. I'm also learning to help others without worrying about being sucked into something messy or unwanted. Yep, I risk getting 'sucked' in, but the difference now is that I am comfortable moving on when something is no longer working. And no, I'm not a 'love them and leave them' kind of friend. It's just that I am not willing to hang on till the end if it is at the expense of my well-being. I also finally realize that making a stand like this has nothing to do with being selfish. Whew!
Going back to the forums thread about friendship ... I have been most interested in this thread. I've talked about this before, but, I went through a period of time where I didn't have close friends who lived close to me. Oh, I was able to connect with people at work, but still I yearned for something deeper. Reading a thread like this would have been comforting to me because while experiencing my 'no-friend' times, I thought I was odd or strange. I was alone. Reading this thread tells me that I was not!
And then, reading this thread makes me wish that we understood how to travel by the speed of light--you know, that we could go have lunch with someone in Atlanta even though we live in Oklahoma. And then the two of us (one from Atlanta and one from OK) could hop over to Mississippi and meet up with a gal that lives in the Mississippi Delta because, via cyberspace, I have found so many interesting women that seem to have similar interests, but they live so far away! And one more thing that comes to mind is ... how common this friendship issue is. No, I wasn't alone, but now realizing that so many women struggle with this makes me sad. I do hope that as Queen Power grows, we can play a role in helping women connect in their geographical location.
Yep, friends ... you gotta have them!
www.queenpower.com
The topic of friends continues to be a 'hot' thread on our forums. To see what I mean go check out the additional thoughts and ideas that others have added.
(http://queenme.forumco.com/topic~TOPIC_ID~391.asp).
And there is more ...
Have you ever had a friendship go sour? Sure you have. We all have. While finishing Grab the Queen Power I started thinking about old friends. Not one to confront, hold a grudge or be insulted, friends usually drift out of my life due to logistical issues—like distance. Another reason former friends and I part ways is change—meaning the “things” that initially brought us together no longer serve one or both of us.
Not too long ago, I found some interesting words written by author, Stuart Wilde. “Don’t suck on people emotionally or intellectually.” More recently in my life, I have become a little more selective about who my friends are. Quite frankly, I’m looking for women that inspire, motivate and energize me. If I find myself in the company of someone that does the opposite, I’m typically out of there, and how! Something else Mr. Wilde said resonated: “When you lean psychologically or emotionally on people or toward them, it’s a sure sign of insecurity. It makes others feel uncomfortable. They resent the weight you are laying on them, and they will react by denying you.”
Okay, admittedly, I have been on both sides of the fence. Now, I tend to be on the far side . . . the one that tucks tail and runs to avoid an energy drain. Here's where I've had trouble in the past. In an effort to not be troublesome or needy, I usually didn't lean enough. And still I resist asking for help. But, I'm learning. I'm also learning to help others without worrying about being sucked into something messy or unwanted. Yep, I risk getting 'sucked' in, but the difference now is that I am comfortable moving on when something is no longer working. And no, I'm not a 'love them and leave them' kind of friend. It's just that I am not willing to hang on till the end if it is at the expense of my well-being. I also finally realize that making a stand like this has nothing to do with being selfish. Whew!
Going back to the forums thread about friendship ... I have been most interested in this thread. I've talked about this before, but, I went through a period of time where I didn't have close friends who lived close to me. Oh, I was able to connect with people at work, but still I yearned for something deeper. Reading a thread like this would have been comforting to me because while experiencing my 'no-friend' times, I thought I was odd or strange. I was alone. Reading this thread tells me that I was not!
And then, reading this thread makes me wish that we understood how to travel by the speed of light--you know, that we could go have lunch with someone in Atlanta even though we live in Oklahoma. And then the two of us (one from Atlanta and one from OK) could hop over to Mississippi and meet up with a gal that lives in the Mississippi Delta because, via cyberspace, I have found so many interesting women that seem to have similar interests, but they live so far away! And one more thing that comes to mind is ... how common this friendship issue is. No, I wasn't alone, but now realizing that so many women struggle with this makes me sad. I do hope that as Queen Power grows, we can play a role in helping women connect in their geographical location.
Yep, friends ... you gotta have them!
www.queenpower.com
posted by Allyn Evans at 1:29 PM
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