Beyond Bad Hair
Queen Me shares ...
I love to walk into a bookstore and then wait for a book to find me. And you know, 'it' always does.
On this particular trip with hubby and daughter in tow, a book titled The Merry Recluse caught my attention. The book is a compilation of mostly reprints from a weekly column written by the late Carolyn Knapp in the Boston Phoenix. I first experienced Caroline's work when I read Appetites: Why Women Want. Caroline, like Anne Lamont of Traveling Mercies (another favorite author) shares openly the chapters of her life. I mean, she tells it all—good, bad and the ugly, and everything in-between. Caroline had so many demons, but the ones that tormented her the most were food and alcohol. Eventually, Caroline died of cancer in 2002. She was only 42 years old.
The other day, one essay grabbed my attention. Actually, she intended to make us laugh with this one. But as I read it, I wasn't laughing because I could see pain in those words—for me, for her, and for so many women. In “Beyond Bad Hair: Thin Lips, Square Breasts, and Other Horrors” Caroline shares the things that plague most women. She claims having a bad hair day is the least of our worries.
The introduction to this article centers on her weight. On this day, she felt LARGE. Although I certainly can sympathize with her ramblings—heck, I've had plenty of LARGE days myself (as recent as this week)—I can't take her views on weight seriously. This woman weighed less than 110 pounds at her heaviest and thought people who ate corn on the cob were gross. What’s the matter with corn on the cob? I love corn on the cob! And as I muttered under my breath about Caroline's perception of her weight, I knew that I owned her problem (even if in a smaller way). Oh, I have sooooo many feeling LARGE days and even though I could be thinner (YES!), they are mostly unjustified.
She shared plenty of other examples with us:
*Why-are-these-pants-pinching-me-around-the-waist Day. (Been there, done that.)
*My-lips-are-too-thin Day. (Can’t say that I own that one.)
*Since-when-have-my-pores-been-so-cavernous Day. (Oh, yes … definitely been there.)
Although I don't have all the same thoughts or moments, I do understand what she's saying. And I bet that most women reading her book, or this blog, do too.
My recent beyond-bad-hair-day moments go something like this...
*Oh-no-this-is-a-face-swollen-eyes-puffy-morning Day
*My-shorts-fit-tighter-today-than-yesterday Day
*Where-did-those-new-wrinkles-come-from Day
*Oh-my-I-now-have-gray-hair-growing-on-my-arms Day (That happened yesterday.)
Probably the one that did make me laugh was Caroline’s mention of the: Oh-no-I-missed-a-patch-of-hair-on-my-knee Day. Okay, so I seem to have more of those days than I care to mention. Yikes!
And then it slaps me right in the face ... and Caroline has the perfect ending to it all. "God, it's hard to be a girl!" Amen, Caroline. Amen.
It is hard to be a girl. I'm ready to play another game now. So here's to trying especially hard to put this beyond-bad-hair thinking to rest. Really, I'm not listening anymore. Of course, as I process this and think about it all, I realize that all these thoughts go back to the lesson I’m still obviously working on—ditching my attachment to the opinion of others. Reading about Caroline’s addictions, I realize that in some shape or form my inability to not care what others think is also debilitating. It’s an emotional addiction and one I am determined to break.
Yep, it’s hard to be a girl, but today it just got a whole lot easier. And I’ll be the first to admit I’m SO not there yet, but baby, I’m getting closer with each passing day. Now, that’s something to celebrate.
www.queenpower.com
I love to walk into a bookstore and then wait for a book to find me. And you know, 'it' always does.
On this particular trip with hubby and daughter in tow, a book titled The Merry Recluse caught my attention. The book is a compilation of mostly reprints from a weekly column written by the late Carolyn Knapp in the Boston Phoenix. I first experienced Caroline's work when I read Appetites: Why Women Want. Caroline, like Anne Lamont of Traveling Mercies (another favorite author) shares openly the chapters of her life. I mean, she tells it all—good, bad and the ugly, and everything in-between. Caroline had so many demons, but the ones that tormented her the most were food and alcohol. Eventually, Caroline died of cancer in 2002. She was only 42 years old.
The other day, one essay grabbed my attention. Actually, she intended to make us laugh with this one. But as I read it, I wasn't laughing because I could see pain in those words—for me, for her, and for so many women. In “Beyond Bad Hair: Thin Lips, Square Breasts, and Other Horrors” Caroline shares the things that plague most women. She claims having a bad hair day is the least of our worries.
The introduction to this article centers on her weight. On this day, she felt LARGE. Although I certainly can sympathize with her ramblings—heck, I've had plenty of LARGE days myself (as recent as this week)—I can't take her views on weight seriously. This woman weighed less than 110 pounds at her heaviest and thought people who ate corn on the cob were gross. What’s the matter with corn on the cob? I love corn on the cob! And as I muttered under my breath about Caroline's perception of her weight, I knew that I owned her problem (even if in a smaller way). Oh, I have sooooo many feeling LARGE days and even though I could be thinner (YES!), they are mostly unjustified.
She shared plenty of other examples with us:
*Why-are-these-pants-pinching-me-around-the-waist Day. (Been there, done that.)
*My-lips-are-too-thin Day. (Can’t say that I own that one.)
*Since-when-have-my-pores-been-so-cavernous Day. (Oh, yes … definitely been there.)
Although I don't have all the same thoughts or moments, I do understand what she's saying. And I bet that most women reading her book, or this blog, do too.
My recent beyond-bad-hair-day moments go something like this...
*Oh-no-this-is-a-face-swollen-eyes-puffy-morning Day
*My-shorts-fit-tighter-today-than-yesterday Day
*Where-did-those-new-wrinkles-come-from Day
*Oh-my-I-now-have-gray-hair-growing-on-my-arms Day (That happened yesterday.)
Probably the one that did make me laugh was Caroline’s mention of the: Oh-no-I-missed-a-patch-of-hair-on-my-knee Day. Okay, so I seem to have more of those days than I care to mention. Yikes!
And then it slaps me right in the face ... and Caroline has the perfect ending to it all. "God, it's hard to be a girl!" Amen, Caroline. Amen.
It is hard to be a girl. I'm ready to play another game now. So here's to trying especially hard to put this beyond-bad-hair thinking to rest. Really, I'm not listening anymore. Of course, as I process this and think about it all, I realize that all these thoughts go back to the lesson I’m still obviously working on—ditching my attachment to the opinion of others. Reading about Caroline’s addictions, I realize that in some shape or form my inability to not care what others think is also debilitating. It’s an emotional addiction and one I am determined to break.
Yep, it’s hard to be a girl, but today it just got a whole lot easier. And I’ll be the first to admit I’m SO not there yet, but baby, I’m getting closer with each passing day. Now, that’s something to celebrate.
www.queenpower.com
posted by Allyn Evans at 11:00 AM
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