Goodbye Old Tapes
Queen Me shares …
Okay, so I’ve pretty much given up worrying about the opinions of others. Right? Hmmmmm. Yes, last week I had a few tests and passed with flying colors. But then, I had a visitor. The visitor came to my house. The visitor was kind, loving, and warm. The visitor, I perceived, accepted me without judgment.
But still those old tapes played. And still, I attempted to interpret how she ‘thought’ of me. Oh my, that little voice spoke to me throughout the visit, continually reminding me that she might be judging me and it was my job to make sure she liked me. And darn it, I played along too. I didn’t realize what I had done until she left. Yikes! Ouch! And then it really hit me. Dang it. I’m not ‘over’ this. Who cares if she thought I took care of my dogs correctly? Or loved them enough? Who cares if she didn’t like that I drank diet coke? Who cares if she didn’t like that my daughter watched TV while we talked? Who cares? Who cares? At the moment, I did. Wah. And here’s what I must ask myself. Why?
Of course, I had to consider something else too. Who am I to presume that I could read her mind? Really? Who am I to believe that I could actually ‘perceive’ what she needed, wanted, or expected from me unless she expressed it? I bet if I asked this woman what she really thought, she’d give a completely different perspective. Hey, maybe she focused on the color of my walls. Hated them. Liked them. Or, maybe she thought my dogs were very lucky. Heck, maybe I even guessed right the first time. Maybe I really am psychic about these things? Or, maybe I’m lucky?
It doesn’t matter. It simply doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are all okay, as we are at the moment. Here’s my new announcement. Take me or leave me. This pleasant woman and I might continue to communicate and we might not. Who cares? If it serves us both, we will.
Now, I ‘see’ something. So I feel compelled to attempt another transformation. I will work to tune out the voice that harps in my ear about what someone likes or doesn’t like. I will make a concerted effort to create new tapes. I hereby pledge to trust that I am okay even if I’m second-guessing myself. I pledge to accept and believe that I am magnificent just as I am. Hmmmmm. I’m feeling the need to celebrate.
www.queenpower.com
Okay, so I’ve pretty much given up worrying about the opinions of others. Right? Hmmmmm. Yes, last week I had a few tests and passed with flying colors. But then, I had a visitor. The visitor came to my house. The visitor was kind, loving, and warm. The visitor, I perceived, accepted me without judgment.
But still those old tapes played. And still, I attempted to interpret how she ‘thought’ of me. Oh my, that little voice spoke to me throughout the visit, continually reminding me that she might be judging me and it was my job to make sure she liked me. And darn it, I played along too. I didn’t realize what I had done until she left. Yikes! Ouch! And then it really hit me. Dang it. I’m not ‘over’ this. Who cares if she thought I took care of my dogs correctly? Or loved them enough? Who cares if she didn’t like that I drank diet coke? Who cares if she didn’t like that my daughter watched TV while we talked? Who cares? Who cares? At the moment, I did. Wah. And here’s what I must ask myself. Why?
Of course, I had to consider something else too. Who am I to presume that I could read her mind? Really? Who am I to believe that I could actually ‘perceive’ what she needed, wanted, or expected from me unless she expressed it? I bet if I asked this woman what she really thought, she’d give a completely different perspective. Hey, maybe she focused on the color of my walls. Hated them. Liked them. Or, maybe she thought my dogs were very lucky. Heck, maybe I even guessed right the first time. Maybe I really am psychic about these things? Or, maybe I’m lucky?
It doesn’t matter. It simply doesn’t matter. What matters is that we are all okay, as we are at the moment. Here’s my new announcement. Take me or leave me. This pleasant woman and I might continue to communicate and we might not. Who cares? If it serves us both, we will.
Now, I ‘see’ something. So I feel compelled to attempt another transformation. I will work to tune out the voice that harps in my ear about what someone likes or doesn’t like. I will make a concerted effort to create new tapes. I hereby pledge to trust that I am okay even if I’m second-guessing myself. I pledge to accept and believe that I am magnificent just as I am. Hmmmmm. I’m feeling the need to celebrate.
www.queenpower.com
posted by Allyn Evans at 11:19 AM
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