Will the Real Me Please Stand Up?
Queen Me shares . . .
The part of you buried the deepest is probably the part needing to be unleashed. We bury what we are ashamed of possessing, you know those parts that we perceive make us unlovable. Doing so diminishes our power. Most of us have allowed judgment by others (and other cultural influences) to mold us into something we are not. We remove our truth and then lead dull, frustrated lives as we try to figure things out. Maybe we drown the voice that tries to move us forward or maybe just flat out ignore it, but feeling angry, frustrated, sad or depressed are the signs.
What part of yourself have you buried? Think back to your childhood. What got you in trouble in the classroom or Sunday school? What were the reasons? For me it was being opinionated, bossy, and loud. At the time, my true nature was not appropriate and so, to fit in, I squashed it. A quick study, I ended up a quiet child. Later the child turned into a quiet adult that avoided speaking her mind. I minded my manners and acted in ways appropriate to the social situation. I was a good girl. Why did I conform and change myself? Simple. I wanted to be accepted and loved. My need to be accepted outweighed the need to be myself.
One day I realized I didn’t know Allyn. So good at being the person others wanted me to be, I didn’t even know where the real me started or ended. I figured out what others wanted and then gave it to them. If I couldn’t read someone or figure her out, I made efforts to avoid her.
Although, I can’t pinpoint the actual moment, I decided I had to follow my self-directed impulses and guidance. However, deciding and doing are two separate issues. Stating that I no longer abided by the opinion of others meant that I felt ready to try it. Making the statement had nothing to do with how I would respond to the challenge. The transition frustrated me, but eventually my desire to change overcame my socialization.
Now jump ahead about five years, the “good” opinion of others rarely influences or bothers me anymore. Acting more authentically gives others a choice—love me or leave me. No longer willing to give pieces of myself away, I gathered them all back—shadow parts included and now take my cues from intuition.
Oh, it’s not that I will stop working on the “me” that has since emerged. And, please understand, I still struggle with the opinions of some. But, in this new place I find myself, I completely understand that I am a work in progress. The real me, although much more authentic, still needs to grow and develop—and, improve. I like to view it as fine-tuning—rough edges to smooth and information to absorb.
Embracing yourself in all your glory (while including the shadow parts) doesn’t mean all your worldly problems will be solved. No. Living more authentically simply means you’ll find yourself in a better place—a place that offers more joy and peace.
www.queenpower.com
The part of you buried the deepest is probably the part needing to be unleashed. We bury what we are ashamed of possessing, you know those parts that we perceive make us unlovable. Doing so diminishes our power. Most of us have allowed judgment by others (and other cultural influences) to mold us into something we are not. We remove our truth and then lead dull, frustrated lives as we try to figure things out. Maybe we drown the voice that tries to move us forward or maybe just flat out ignore it, but feeling angry, frustrated, sad or depressed are the signs.
What part of yourself have you buried? Think back to your childhood. What got you in trouble in the classroom or Sunday school? What were the reasons? For me it was being opinionated, bossy, and loud. At the time, my true nature was not appropriate and so, to fit in, I squashed it. A quick study, I ended up a quiet child. Later the child turned into a quiet adult that avoided speaking her mind. I minded my manners and acted in ways appropriate to the social situation. I was a good girl. Why did I conform and change myself? Simple. I wanted to be accepted and loved. My need to be accepted outweighed the need to be myself.
One day I realized I didn’t know Allyn. So good at being the person others wanted me to be, I didn’t even know where the real me started or ended. I figured out what others wanted and then gave it to them. If I couldn’t read someone or figure her out, I made efforts to avoid her.
Although, I can’t pinpoint the actual moment, I decided I had to follow my self-directed impulses and guidance. However, deciding and doing are two separate issues. Stating that I no longer abided by the opinion of others meant that I felt ready to try it. Making the statement had nothing to do with how I would respond to the challenge. The transition frustrated me, but eventually my desire to change overcame my socialization.
Now jump ahead about five years, the “good” opinion of others rarely influences or bothers me anymore. Acting more authentically gives others a choice—love me or leave me. No longer willing to give pieces of myself away, I gathered them all back—shadow parts included and now take my cues from intuition.
Oh, it’s not that I will stop working on the “me” that has since emerged. And, please understand, I still struggle with the opinions of some. But, in this new place I find myself, I completely understand that I am a work in progress. The real me, although much more authentic, still needs to grow and develop—and, improve. I like to view it as fine-tuning—rough edges to smooth and information to absorb.
Embracing yourself in all your glory (while including the shadow parts) doesn’t mean all your worldly problems will be solved. No. Living more authentically simply means you’ll find yourself in a better place—a place that offers more joy and peace.
www.queenpower.com
posted by Allyn Evans at 3:20 PM
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