Super Nanny to the Rescue

Queen Me shares . . .

For all you dog lovers out there . . . looks like Sugar is a keeper. So, what saved sweet Sugar?

Don't laugh. It was a reality-TV show. Let's see, and oh how I hate confess this, but, yes, I get sucked in and watch those shows. This week, it was SuperNanny that grabbed my attention.

Not sure why. And, actually it was more luck than anything. I think it was the Nanny's voice that spoke to me. She told the parents of a two-year-old child who kept the family up way past their bedtimes, "You are the adults here. You can fix this." I thought, Oh yes. I am the adult here. I can fix this! Suddenly with newfound hope, I listened.

If you're not sure what I'm talking about, go back and read the blog right before this one. It will tell the tale of Sugar, our seven-year-old pet.

We, just like the two-year's old family, were trapped in the "stay-up-way-passed-your-bedtime" nightmare. And, our nightmare was Sugar. As part of our new nightly routine, the poor baby howled for hours until exhausted. Actually, my other two (hubby and daughter) slept right through it all. But, not me. I suffered with her. Being the one that likes to fix people's pain or at least ease it, I found the nightly sadness unbearable. So problematic, in fact, that I couldn't see keeping her. It was much too painful.

So, Super Nanny to the rescue! After watching the Nanny work her magic, I tried the same trick. It was sooooo easy. Instead of placing Sugar in her bed, closing the door and leaving for the night, I stayed with her for ten minutes. That's it. I sat down by her bed and without communicating or petting her, gave her time to settle down for the night. After she got comfortable, I slowly made my way out of the room. It worked! No more howling:).

Okay, that's one problem solved. There are many more. But, now I can proudly say I'm the adult here and I could fix it!"

One Tired Queen

Queen Me shares . . .

Okay, here’s the deal. I haven’t been sleeping well this week. There are several reasons, but the most disruptive one is our new dog. I know. What was I thinking? I’m still asking myself that question. We’ve taken on a seven-year-old female—quite possibly the sweetest dog on the planet. Our sweet Sugar got to us by way of a breeder house. Busted by dog lovers, the breeder lost her 100 dogs within a day. The dogs were placed with organizations in Arkansas and Oklahoma.

Our Sugar, though, isn’t housebroken. When I picked up our new dog, the foster mom swore she was. Well, I’m swearing, “No she’s not!” On top of that, she’s not familiar with sleeping through the night (meaning she howls for hours). So, this Queen is tired. And, well . . . it’s hard to feel queenly when you simply want to crawl back in bed.

I’ve had a roller coaster week. “I’m taking her back!” That’s what I mumble as I clean up the messes she leaves behind. “Oh, but she’s so happy with us.” And, other than this housebreaking deal and her issues with separation, she’s wonderful. At the moment, she’s staying. I’ll have to keep you posted on the outcome. Of course, there’s a big part of me that is struggling with the idea of returning her. I don’t do that. No, not me. But, maybe I do? Like I said . . . we’ll just have to see.

And, more reasons not to sleep . . .

While driving home from picking up our newest family member last Saturday, we decided to get some gas. Not sure why I picked the place I did, but it seemed like the perfect pit stop. By Tuesday, my SUV started acting up. When cranking my vehicle, it sputtered and groaned. Trying to explain the problems away, I blamed the artic temperature. No matter, I still got to where I was going. So, I shrugged it off. But, that afternoon, it happened again. So, I called the dealership and scheduled an appointment for Wednesday. Surely, my warranty would cover whatever the annoyance turned out to be. Oops, I totally forgot the appointment (must have been from lack of sleep). Finally on Thursday, my car was delivered to the shop. At first, the mechanics couldn’t figure out what was happening and needed to keep it overnight. The next day they were on to something, “By any chance did you get gas on the Turnpike on Saturday?” Nodding my head I said, “Yep sure did.”

“Well, we’ve been talking to other dealerships in town and you’re not the only one with this mystery problem. We’ve found about ten others so far.” I brace myself. “Somehow or another they mixed the diesel with the regular gas. We’ve got to clean your engine.”

By Saturday, I had my car back. Surprisingly, after I left the dealership my purse felt so much lighter—to the tune of just under $600. Yikes! I’m still wrapping my little mind around that one. Of course, my dealership folks say “they” should pay for it. So, that’s what I get to do on Monday. Try to get “they” to reimburse me. How does one find the telephone number for "they" when "they" are on the Turnpike?? And, well, that makes me tired just thinking about it.

Tired. Yep, tired! Irritated and still trying my best to feel queenly. Okay, it’s most definitely time to pull out and wear my tiara. One tiara, two aspirins, a good nights sleep and surely I’ll be feeling queenly by tomorrow. Wonder if the dog would wear one? Can a dog wearing a tiara use the bathroom in your house? Surely not!

Feel the Need to Blog

Queen Me shares . . .

The subscriptions keep pouring in. Okay, can't tell you just how much fun it is to check my in-box and see all the new Queens joining the Queendom.

As you might have noticed, we're still rounding out our team of Queens. The latest addition is Queen of Experiences (Queen Jaw Jaw). She's lots of fun and will mostly definitely help lighten things up a bit. This year should offer many more opportunities for our group of Queens.

Quite possibly the hardest part of this subscription process, though, is getting the
"user requests removal" notification. Although, I promise myself to not take it personally . . . I still cringe when one arrives. Of course, my first thought is, "Why?" And, then my next thought is, "Oh, it's okay. Not everyone will find what they are looking for in our little queendom." And, then other pressing tasks grab my attention. Usually, on the day that I find one of those unwelcomed announcements in my box, two or so more arrive to take it's place.

All this dicussion leads me back to the "Why?" question. I really am curious about the why. Since we currently don't have a method set up to gather feedback from you (except via personal e-mail or very public forums), I do encourage you to write to us with ideas and/or criticisms.

I would love to hear from you and to see how we may better serve you.

BTW, we've got some new stuff coming up soon. A new webpage called Queens on the Net that will provide resource links and an "Ask the Queens" feature. We're also going to launch a password protected forum providing a format for queens to network (and communicate for purposes of trading, swapping, barting or buying).

And, now off to start a nice, relaxing weekend. Whew! It's been a busy week and I'm ready for a little much needed rest.

Bragging About the Queens!

Queen Me shares . . .

Okay, I have to do some bragging here. Queens! Queens! Queens! Our collective Queens come from a variety of backgrounds. We have WAHM Queens, Writer Queens, Entrepreneur Queens, Mom Queens, Stay-At-Home Queens, Retired Queens. You name it . . . we've probably got it:).

Today, I'm going to focus on our writing Queens. We have several Queens with blogs. And, their blogs are fantastic.

I'm going to name only three at this writing. But, if you'd like to be included in this listing, e-mail me (queenme@queenpower.com) or add the link in the comments section below.

Let's see . . .

We have Queen Camellia. Her blog is: http://www.beinginamerica.blogspot.com

Then there's Queen of Experiences (aka Queen Jaw Jaw). You'll find her writing posted at: http://www.allthingsroyal.blogspot.com

The PRDiva Queen, Christine Hohlbaum, has a blog: http://diaryofamother.blogs.com/

Funny, humorous and insightful. These blogs should keep you busy for awhile.

We also have writers with websites. If you'd like to list your website (in the comments section below) , then please do! I think it's fun to see what everyone is doing. The forum users share their websites (usually in their signature lines). So, if you are interested to see what other women are doing, then go check out the forums. You are welcome to browse without a commitment to join in the chatter.

And, I might be overstepping my boundaries here . . . but, I bet that if you find someone doing what you've always wanted to do . . . they'd be more than happy to talk to you (via e-mail or phone). I know I'd love to hear from readers and subscribers! Let's use our network and help each other;).

Before I forget, Queen Power opened a new blog titled Queens Write (www.queenswrite.blogspot.com). It's new and we're looking for entries. Keep sending us your words (prefer short, inspirational, fun stuff).

Close Your Eyes and Jump!

Queen Me shares . . .

While preparing for a radio interview, I had an opportunity to reflect on the changes that have occurred in my life. The listening audience, a group of “working-at-home” moms, sparked my interest in doing so. Since 2000, I have been what they are. My desire to work from home pre-dates organizations like WAHM (Working At Home Moms). Even prior to having the title Mom, I knew that I had to have my own business. Be my own boss. I really can’t explain why, but the world of traditional employment didn't work for me. For fifteen years, I tried to figure out how to escape or how to change my feelings. Nothing worked. Nothing! I read really great books by really great authors like Richard Boles and Barbara Sher. But, for some reason couldn’t figure out how to dig out of the place I found myself. Part of my dilemma involved money. Yikes! We needed more and of course, I needed to contribute. Driven by the notion that if only I looked hard enough, I would find my right occupation, I trudged on—and, got nowhere.

With each passing year, though, I found myself closer to solving the problem. At one point, I finally quit denying that I loved to write. Another time, I completely understood my burning desire to help others. As I turned over stones and investigated options, I eventually found one shoe that sort of fit. Eureka!

In 1995, I discovered the business of résumé writing. I noticed it, but ignored it. I continued to move on to other jobs in higher education and the nonprofit sector. As I made my way, I ended up finding what I considered to be my perfect job—Career Counselor at a local community college. My joy lasted for about six months, if that long. But while hanging out, I honed my “career counseling” skills and filed away many resources. On some level, I knew that I would need the information again. And, I did.

After one more attempt to find the right job, I found myself ready to close my eyes and jump. Reaching the highest point possible at work (based on the degree I had), I sorrowfully realized I had made the wrong choice. The impressive job with its even more impressive title most definitely wasn’t the right answer. By this time, I had earned the “Mom” title and any left over energy was spent on my two-year-old child. So, that’s when I crashed and burned. That’s when I decided to stop. Took a deep breath and quit. Without a plan and knowing full well that I desperately needed to continue to bank my share of the cash, I took my life back. I was scared. I was frightened. No, I was crazy! What was I thinking? I had tried this so many times before. Why did I think that this time would be different? Why?

Even in hindsight, I can’t answer that. Age? Experience? Sudden courage? I don’t know. But, no matter, the day I took charge and pledged to play the game differently, my life changed too. I pulled out the business plan I had carried around in my briefcase for two years. I called a former boss and got an old part-time job back. I shared my plan with another lady who ended up being my partner. Within two months of starting the new business, we made money. Within four months, I made more money than I had before in fewer hours and with less stress. For a short time, I was a happy-stay-at-home Mom.

After two years, it turned out, I had written one résumé too many. Yep. I was burned out without the crashing. The timing was perfect and coincided with my daughter’s first day of full-time school. So, the week my daughter started school, I dropped all my contracts, took a part-time consulting job and focused on writing. Finally, I gave myself permission to pursue what I really wanted. Of course, it wasn’t exactly a breeze. I had to learn the trade. I had to put myself out there. I had to do things that frightened me. I even had to convince myself that I could call myself a writer. In the end, I won. So, in 2005 . . . this is where I find myself.

And, I can't help myself and must say, Ah yes, it’s good to be queen!

Substandard Life? You Gotta Be Kidding Me!

Queen Me shares . . .

Recently while flipping through Oprah’s latest magazine, I found the perfect quote. Of course, the words came out of Oprah’s mouth. Just so you know, I have this magazine for research purposes. Well, okay, at first I subscribed because I felt compelled to check out her new offering. And, then every time the renewal notice arrived, I continued to sign up. I justified the expense by convincing myself that one day I’d need to know what to pitch to her. In early November, that day finally arrived. I sent this nifty little query letter that most definitely fit her magazine. Heck, I should know . . . I’ve been getting it for the last three years.

The December issue arrived in my mailbox the other day. Actually, it came only a few days after the rejection letter. Yep! I got the dreaded rejection letter from Oprah! Okay, Oprah didn’t write the letter. “The Editors” wrote me. They said:

Dear Reader:

Thank you so much for sharing your work with us. Unfortunately, we are unable to accept your piece for publication. Due to the sheer volume of mail we receive each day, we are simply unable to give each piece the attention it deserves. For future reference, we regret that we do not accept unsolicited submissions.

Sincerely,

The Editors

What a great letter, huh? Well, I decided not to let Oprah’s wonderful logo go to waste. I typed up my own letter. My letter informed me that I was going to be a guest on the show in September 2005! I cut and pasted my letter onto the one Oprah’s staff sent me. It’s hanging on my office wall. Daily I am inspired about my upcoming appearance:). Oh yes, it is signed by none other than Oprah’s TV “Production Staff.”

Okay, I digress. So anyway in the December issue, Oprah said, “We have to keep transforming ourselves to become who we ought to be.” And, I thought to myself, Oprah and I are on the same page. My . . . how amazing that we think so much alike. Her quote sums up the premise supporting Queen Power. It’s that simple, really. It’s about transforming ourselves so that we can become everything we are destined to be. We weren’t placed here to live substandard lives.
Oprah had more wisdom to disperse, “Transformation doesn’t happen unless you’re willing: It’s your choice.” She’s right. Our step toward a better life is a choice. We either do it or don’t do it. There’s nothing to measure, though. It’s not about how far you go once the choice is made. It’s about the journey—the transformation. It’s about opening up and accepting what Caroline Myss said in her recent book, Invisible Acts of Power, “Take the riskiest path you can find—it’s an illusion. The safe path is the real illusion.”

As you gracefully move into 2005, set your sights higher. Make a choice to live your best life. Shun the road that makes you tired. It’s the path that feels heavy and so wearisome. Instead, take the path that feels lighter. The one that makes you dance.I believe we are here for a reason.

As each day unfolds, we see less of the shadow and more of the sun. —Heartline: A Division of Hallmark Cards

Reprinted from the Queen-zine (12/15/05 issue)