Hurricane Survivor!

Queen Me speaks . . .

The Angel Queen sent me an e-mail in response to my, "Did you survive this time message." Here's what she said:

"Allyn, what a storm!!! We are safe and just got our electricity back. It was off for almost 24 hours - not bad at all. The winds were the worst of it for me - just wouldn't stop - 18 hours straight of winds that were 50 to 75 mph gusting to 100 mph. I asked for help from the angels (to protect my house, car and the palm trees). We had no damage. Others here did - lots of screen porches destroyed and lots of things, heavy things, blown around. Trees down, too. Flooding, too. So much water and wind!"

So, yea! Maybe, after four hurricanes (count them), four, Floridians can rest easy (and all other folks in the path of the aftermaths). I read somewhere that the last time this happened it was in the State of Texas (around 1850's). Hopefully, we can wait another 100+ years before it occurs again.

Queen of the Courts & Organization

Queen Me speaks . . . .

Well, we've got the trumpets ready to play! We've found the perfect Queen to fill our Queen of Organization spot. You'll be meeting her next week (picture, bio and all).

Just learned the company that sells the socks I talk about on the website (Queen of the Courts) is expanding into tennis outfits, tops and shorts. How exiciting to be able to provide queenly merchandise to you tennis player Queens. Not sure about this yet, but we're thinking of adding a Queen of the Courts forum. A nice little place for all you Queen of the Courts to discuss your latest victory or bagel. (Okay, this means you didn't win a game. Yikes happened to me just last week.)

Recently a story sent out via www.msn.com (articles for women) announced: Tennis, the sport of modern queens. Okay, the part about modern queens caught my attention. My tennis friends and I definitely consider ourselves queens! Well, like I shared on the website . . . we are "Queens of the Court", you know.

This little statistic floored me. According to Rachel Cohen (Lifetimetv.com), "Last year a whooping 5.9 million took up tennis for the first time--and about half of them were women." Although I've played since high school many of my peers started much, much later in life. When you actually pick up your racket for the first time doesn't seem to have any impact on how well you will be able to play. Many of my tennis partners and opponents actually started playing within the last five years and simply progressed up to higher levels of play.

So, here's my push . . . tennis is fun! It doesn't take a lot of money (racket, balls and shoes for starters). Plus, most communities have multiple community courts--meaning you can play there for free. And, you don't have to be an athlete to play well or win. It's exercise, but it's exercise all my tennis friends look forward to doing. I never moan about having to go to the court. Our reporter friend also shared: "Playing tennis burns a whooping 420 calories an hour and is truly a full-body workout, forcing you to use your abs, arms and legs while improving your flexibility and mental focus." It's open to everyone--all body types, sizes and shapes. I don't know of another sport (besides golf) that women can enjoy (and compete) for a lifetime. One day, I'll have to feature our oldest queen player in the Queen-zine. She's fabulous and regularly whips us by using her skill and finesse.

Go to www.tenniswelcomecenter.com for locations near you. Make it fun and talk your friends into doing it with you. Group lessons are much cheaper and make for a nice social gathering. According to the Cohen's article, "The United States Tennis Association (USTA) claims it only takes about four to six lessons to get proficient at hitting the ball."

Because of my husband's line of work, we move regularly. Always, I quickly find a new set of friends simply by finding a local group of tennis playing Queens! BTW, I'm hosting our almost monthly tennis gathering next Thursday and serving juleps (providing a little southern hospitality). I'll let you know how it all turns out. And, hopefully will see you at the courts!

Please Like Me

Queen Me speaks...

Good morning! It’s good because the woodpeckers are not currently munching on my house. Anyone else have that problem? Not sure why, but those birds seem to only like to eat cypress in the fall?

Yesterday, I sent out the revised Queen-zine. Oops! It still needed a little extra attention. There were a few minor glitches. Oh well, you live and you learn. For those of you reading this that don’t get the Queen-zine, I’m taking a class to learn how to update my website. Because of this newfound knowledge, I can also send HTML e-zines to you (that means the e-zine resembles the webpage design). Other advantages are the ability to link to other sites, add pictures and jazz up the format. If you prefer a text version (meaning your e-mail system is set up to accept text only), that will still be available to you.

Anyway, by next week, I should be offering the new and improved version. Okay, at least I’ll try!

Lessons Learned
It’s been a very interesting week for me. And, one of those lesson times. It all started with the sliming I received on Monday (and a few other business-related issues) and then fretting over sending the Queen-zine out when it was (what shall I say?) less than perfect! Oh yeah, I forgot I promised myself I wouldn’t mention the sliming again. Oh well . . .

Here’s the deal. I don't know about you, but I’ve always worried about the opinions of others.

For example, my college years were very trying, specifically my freshman year. My first roommate left to return to Memphis and so I found myself needing another at mid-semester. I ended up asking the wrong person to be my roommate. Thank goodness our time together was short lived. She had a date at the alter and well, darn it . . . by May had to move on.

Not too long ago, I had a nightmare. I found myself back in college (freshman year) surrounded by one the former roommate and her friends. In the dream, the girls were ignoring me and treating me disrespectfully with the planned intention of excluding me and demonstrating their dislike. I was crushed. Hurt by their lack of caring, I couldn’t understand why on earth they didn’t like me. Why were they doing this to me and why was the situation so out of control? I cried uncontrollably. I begged the Universe to intervene. I asked for mercy. Nothing happened. But, then I heard a booming voice that seemed to originate from the heavens above me. Allyn, you cannot be liked by everyone. Let it go. Suddenly, I was at peace with my fears—concerns and pain magically disappeared.

The next day, I spent time thinking about the dream and what it meant. It just so happened that the dream was on the heels of me writing a piece about the need to be liked and appreciated. I’m not sure when I decided that I needed that from others, but somewhere on the road to maturing, I assumed it.

Consider what Caroline Knapp shared in her last book, titled Appetites: Why Women Want.

Like so many women I know, I grew up understanding that self-worth and likeability were inextricably linked, that a sizeable portion of my value would come from nourishing others: pleasing, avoiding conflict, concealing my own needs and disappointments.

Sela Ward expressed it too in her book Homesick. “There was lots of pressure to look perfect, and to be perfect—to live up to the unreachable ideal of womanhood.”

Even as recent as yesterday, I found myself wondering: Should I have written that? Should I have said that? Why did that lady send me that nasty e-mail? Will it ever stop—the sick little need to feel worth from the love or like of others—even strangers? Those little voices whispering to me—telling me to stop acting this way and that or else are voices from the past. Don’t be too pushy, too loud, too dominate. Those are all bad, very bad traits. Those aspects represent my shadow side. The dark part of me that if ever peaks out in the light of day makes me unlovable. Right? Isn’t that what we think? That if we show all of ourselves, then they, all the others, will run away. Yes, some might, but others will stay. I have to remember the message from my dream. You can’t be liked by everyone. It’s the truth—you just can’t.

Wayne Dyer said it best:

You’ll find no shortage of opinions directed at you. If you allow them to undermine your self-respect, you’re seeking the respect of others over your own, then you’re abdicating (handing over) yourself.

Okay, so enough already! Of course, now that I've declared my intention, I'll receive many more opportunities to test myself. ~smile. And so it goes . . . .

Slimed!

Queen Me speaks...

Yep, that’s what happened to me yesterday. It was disgusting. You might be wondering how in the world I got slimed? Well, actually I got “it” from another person. Someone I respected wrote me a nasty e-mail. To protect the innocent, I will not go in to details about it all, but needless to say the “mean” words stung. For about the first thirty minutes, I literally stopped doing anything productive. With the receipt of the e-mail about 24 hours behind me, I’m suddenly a little disappointed in myself. You see, I would hope to be above feeling bad after a good, old fashion sliming. But, obviously, words and opinions still affect me. Ouch! There’s a big chapter about the “good” opinions of others in the book I’m currently writing. But, writing about it doesn’t mean you actually solved your own issues! Darn it.

Okay, I’m going to admit more than I planned here. Immediately following the “hate” e-mail, I wondered what the heck am I’m doing anyway? Why bother? Why keep writing and writing and writing? Why continue to put myself out there and face yet another rejection. Why? Couple the sliming with a few rejection letters and quickly I moved to the “what in the heck am I doing?” place.

Divine timing, though, also played a role yesterday. Should I say here, “Thank God?” About the time I was ready to throw my computer out the window (ha!); I received a most timely e-mail message. Just a little gun shy by then, I was pleased to find my almost regular message from author Caroline Myss (http://www.myss.com/). Of course, she wasn’t writing me personally. Another darn! But, her message was timely, indeed.

Here’s what she said, “For instance, you may be directed to do something others perceive as foolish or useless. But what better way to become separated from the power of the opinion of others than to become the target of their critical commentaries while coping with guidance that only you can perceive? We are afraid to be criticized by others when, in fact, it’s something worth striving for. I mean, look around you. How many people do you see living flawless lives?”

Okay, so I felt better. Hey, it’s a good thing that woman slimed me yesterday. Right? Well, can’t really go that far with it, but now I feel so much better.

So, back to the nasty note and the moral of this little ditty (Okay, so it’s not really a song, but I liked the sound of “ditty”.).

Listening to others share their opinions is one thing, but allowing them to alter your course is another. I can’t tell you why I feel compelled to write, but I know that when I do I am happy. My way of writing and putting my message out there may be very different than someone else’s (so much so that they may feel the need to attack), but that’s okay. I’m listening to my heart, now. And, that’s all that really matters . . . .

Calling All Queens! Really

Queen Me speaks...

Okay, we’re waiting on two Queens to answer the call! Ha! Yes, we’ve extended two invitations to prospective Queen Team members and should know early this week. But, don’t fret! We still have positions open with plans to add the following Queens to our team:

Entrepreneur Queen (The Entrepreneur Queen will offer business advice to women seeking to work-at-home, start a business or launch a project.)

Career Consulting Queen (This Queen will help individuals figure out a career direction while also being skilled in the arena of self-marketing for those seeking jobs or promotions.)

Mommy Queen (This Queen will offer advice to Moms.)

Health and Fitness Queen (This Queen will provide health and fitness information, monitor the weight loss or weight maintenance forum and provide quick health tips on a regular basis.)

Fashion Queen (This Queen will offer fashion tips for busy Queens.)

Organizational Queen (This Queen will help us get our lives in working order so that our work and play can be much more productive.)

We’re searching for experienced Queens to fill these positions and prefer someone already established in their field with a web presence.

●Please note that two Queen positions listed here might be filled by the first of next week.

To read about the other Queens already on board, go to www.queenpower.com.

And, there’s more…

We’re going to add a section to the Queens’ Product page for you! If you have something to sell, send us a proposal (basically, that means a brief description of your product, service and/or idea). Although, not planning to launch this phase of our site till early 2005, please send in your ideas as soon as possible because, if accepted, it will be on a first-come, first served basis. The costs will be minimal (with plans to have only a one-time fee to cover basic web expenses only).

And, that’s not all…

Quite possibly, what I consider to be the most important part! We’re going to add a forum for the Queens to help each other be, you know, more queenly! Based on experience, I know how helpful these message boards can be. When my partner and I started our resume and career consulting business, the professional message board we utilized jump started our business and quickly helped us earn profits. I'm convinced the exposure to the experts (and newbies) in the field significantly reduced the time it took us to learn the business.

The topics have been chosen with the idea to cover the areas required to help you live your best life. Of course, we’re open to ideas. So, don’t hesitate to e-mail us: queens@queenpower.com

Right now we’re considering the following topics.
1. Entrepreneur Queens (This topic will be monitored by the Entrepreneur Queen and Queen Me. The goal is to help any entrepreneur—whether startup or established—to improve their business and income possibilities.)

2. Queens with a Purpose (This topic will be monitored by Queen Me, the Career Coach Queen and the Angel Queen. The intent is to build a discussion thread that will help you discover meaning and purpose in your life and get you to a place where you’ll need the Entrepreneur Queens board!)

3. Mommy Queens (This topic will be monitored by the Mommy Queen and the Yoga Queen. This discussion board will be geared towards living a balanced life while effectively fulfilling all your roles such as mom, wife and breadwinner.)

4. Healthy Queens (This topic will be monitored by the Health and Fitness Queen and the Yoga Queen. Here you’ll be given advice on a variety of health issues—weight, exercise, yoga, diet, vitamins, herbs.)

5. Queens that Dream (This topic will be monitored by Queen Me. The goal of this topic is to help you accomplish your goals, dreams and desires. Here you can share your passions and ask for help, hints and advice from the Queens and readers. Occasionally, other Queens will jump in to help round out the discussion.)

If you are wondering where the Fashion Queen fits, we’ll don’t worry. Although, we’re not creating a forum for her, she’ll regularly supply short blurbs on what’s in and what’s not and how you can look stylish without blowing your budget.

For now, that’s it…

Whew! I’m thinking that’s enough:). Can’t wait to see how all this turns out. And, all I have left to say is . . .

Here’s to finding your tiara, and you know, wearing it!

Where Does the Time Go?

Queen Me speaks...

In Invisible Acts of Power : Personal Choices That Create Miracles, Caroline Myss tells us, "Nothing is impossible for you when you have faith—in yourself and in your purpose." Instantly, I thought: "Wow! She's so right."

But, I think back only 12 months ago and I would have had a totally different response. I would have read that and said, "Whatever!"

You see, I think that's part of the problem with so many of us. I would rant and rave at the Universe: "What is my purpose? Help me understand." I didn't know. Didn't have a clue, actually. Continually, I felt as if I was hitting one brick wall after another. I'd pick myself up and walk one way. Ouch! Then, another. Bang. I'd have this great idea and then a few days later think of something even better. I was all over the map and all my inspirations (about purpose) were hollow and empty. I never ended anywhere. For over a decade I ran in circles.

Everytime someone says, 'God, please help me,' the universe hears. The gods (God) may let you practically drown before they respond and send you a boat—because you are in this Earth School to learn how to build a boat and how to row it—but they will respond.
—Caroline Myss

Okay, so that's comforting to know, but while you're mired in the mess of it all, it's hard to recognize that God is helping you. Of course, your being helped, but sometimes it simply doesn't feel that way. The interesting thing is that most of our inability to help ourselves is our own doing. Basically, we get in our own way. Just like the friend who keeps telling me her purpose in life is to help other women lose and maintain weight.

"Hey Allyn," she says when I pick up the phone. "I've found my perfect occupation. I met this man today that sales real estate and he said that I am perfect for the field." I respond by saying, "Hello! What does that have to do with women and weight?" For whatever reason (and I'm a perpetrator too), we can't focus long enough to get results.

If you like thinking in Angel terms, can you imagine the angels frustration when they try to help us? In deep prayer and with sincere meaning we pray, "Dear God (and angels) help me launch my website for women trying to lose weight." Celebrating, the angels start swirling around their magic dust in that direction. A couple of days later, we tell our husband (which just happens to be within hearing range of our angels): "Okay, I finally know what I'm going to do. I'm going to get my real estate license!" The angels scurry around shaking their heads wondering what else they need to do to get our attention. But, they help us anyway. Knowing full well that in less than six months we'll abandon that pipe dream because it simply doesn't suit us. They figure learning about what we don't want might actually help us return to our purpose.

At the end of the six months, sure enough, we are unfulfilled and seek something else. Briefly, we think about what we really want to do, but quickly talk ourselves out of it. I don't have money to launch a website. It's crazy to think that other women would listen to me. I'm too fat to help other women. Yep, just like I thought, the idea is stupid.

Again, we go looking for something safe. Safe, though is not really the safe way to go. You see, if you go down the safe road you take a longer journey to your destination.

So, what's my point. Take the time to discover your purpose. Download my free eBook Catch Your Dream: And, Live It! Or, read someone else's book (like Barbara Sher, Caroline Myss, Marianne Williamson). But, take the time to figure out what you need to be focusing on. Because it's simple. You will not be happy until you do. Really, it's that simple. Once you take this path and daily strive towards something that provides meaning to you, you will wonder what took you so long. For me, even on the supposedly bad days when nothing goes right, all is right in my world because I'm doing what I am here to do. That's it. A joy that previously eluded me, surrounds me and keeps me grounded even when my external world seems crazy.

If nothing else, understand and appreciate that most people find great reward (and meaning) from helping others. If you can't pinpoint exactly what you are supposed to be doing, then start helping others face-to-face. And, here's another Myss quote I couldn't resist: I rarely meet people who want to retire from a meaningful life. Think about it!

I'll leave you with one final statement from Caroline Myss (and, I'm still only in Chapter One!):

I want to help you realize that no matter how much money you have, no matter what sex, race or age you are, you do have power. You can make a difference in your world and in the life of every single person you encounter.

www.queenpower.com

Victorious!

Queen Me celebrates a small victory...

Just had to share my success with you. Yippee! I figured it out and now have my photo included on the profile section. Although, it's got a tail end of a letter in there (from my website), I'm impressed with myself;). That's all. Back to my relaxing weekend. Oh, guess I forgot to mention the sick dog! What a mess. Yikes. My wake-up call arrived early this morning (around 5:00 a.m.). Thank goodness I have this little product called Pet Odor.

P.S. Extended two invitations to prospective Team Queen members on Friday. I'll let you know the results as soon as I know something.

You Caught Me Goofing Around...

Queen Me speaks...

Okay, here I am trying to figure out how to move pictures to the blog. And, I impressed myself:). I figured out how to insert a photo in the actual body of the blog. Okay, so the truth here . . . I was actually trying to insert the photo into my profile area. Oh well, I'm one step closer to doing that than I was yesterday!

Anyway, I like the idea of being able to share photos with you and will start doing that when the opportunity presents itself. I'm thinking you must see the photo of the Queens of the Court, my tennis team. Interestingly, prior to my arrival to Oklahoma, the Queen of our tennis group already had her throne. The group called themselves "the Queen's team." Last year, we formed a competitive team and well, selecting the name was a no brainer. You should see our Queens of the Court socks . . . complete with a tiara.

Off to enjoy the rest of my weekend . . . tennis anyone?

Yippee!

Okay, it's official. I've been approved as an editor for Suite 101. Check out the site and see all the goodies being offered (www.suite101.com).

My stuff will be featured soon. The topic is mighty fitting:). You got it! It's Grab the Queen Power: And, Live Your Best Life!

Have a good weekend. I know I will. Not much planned, but those usually turn out great too.

It's Good To Be Queen No More...

Okay, here’s the deal. We changed our domain name (website and URL). When we discovered that it was in our best interests to do so, I sulked:). Let’s face it, making a major change like that means spending more time and money. But, with the mounting evidence out there, it seemed the smartest thing to do.

You see, there is this other Queen out there who had already launched a very similar site: ItsGoodToBeTheQueen. When we started the project, her site was small and appeared very limited. The Queens in charge decided our two paths wouldn’t cross and all would be fine. Well, sometime this summer, the Queen of Lakewood was featured in Ladies Home Journal and (Wow!) her traffic picked up considerably and now she’s talking book. Okay, so now our paths are crossing (according to my attorney).

Also, she (bless her heart) beat us to the punch on obtaining a trademark for her name and since inception date is the real key factor here (again, she was one step ahead of us;), we made the decision to abandon ship!

Oh yes, it was a little painful for me. Letting go of my “baby” wasn’t easy to do. But, let go I did. And, the Queens think we’ve out done ourselves this time. See, forced changed isn’t always a bad thing. Since the Queen of Lakewood is also very queenly, she didn’t “force” us to change, but we, let’s say, saw the writing on the wall. Therefore, we made this WONDERFUL decision on our own.

Anyway, the new name is: http://www.queenpower.com/

So, what do you think?

P.S. Looks like I’ll be an editor on http://www.suite101.com/. I’ll let you know when it’s official.
P.P.S. If you are a mother of all boys, check out www.itsgoodtobethequeen.com. You might like what you find. Looks fun to us:). But as my daugther would say, "Mom, there's just one problem . . . " We queens have girls too!

Surviving the Hurricane

The Angel Queen shares . . . .

We came home on Monday at lunchtime through pouring rain and tornado reports. Monday afternoon, we walked out into the sunshine to feed the ducks and turtles in the pond near our house. Our electricity was off, had just gone off Monday morning. It came back on Monday about 10 pm. No damage to our home, car, or the beautiful pine trees. (I am thankful they did not fall into my bedroom or living room!)

Queen Me speaks . . . .

Whew! More later. . . .

What's Next?

Queen Me talks . . . .

It's been one of those times. You know, wondering when more bad news will come your way. Although, a true optimist, the last several weeks have been trying. Yep, it primarily has to do with my mother-in-law and her recent cancer diagnosis. We visited her over the weekend to keep her company while she waited for her fast-approaching surgery. I bet she'd tell you that it wasn't fast enough and that she is ready for tomorrow to quickly pass. Me too! My greatest wish, though, would be to remove all her anxiety. If only I could hold it for the next 24 hours. Let her rest peacefully while waiting. But, I can't. My inability to relieve her suffering is painful.

The Angel Queen report . . . .

As soon as I hear from the Angel Queen, I will let you know. Turns out she moved to Florida on the heels of Hurricane Charley and arrived just in time to greet Hurricane Frances.

Queen Me wraps up . . . .

Okay, tomorrow (or the next day~grin), I promise to return to my normal cheery self.

For a good cause . . . .
BTW, received an e-mail from an Queen-zine subscriber describing what the makers of M&M's are doing these days. And, it's a repeat performance. The makers of M&M candies have teamed up with theSusan G. Komen Breast Cancer Foundation to raise funds through the sale of their pink & white M&M candies. Special bags of M&M's will be on sale in September, October and November, 2004. (The bags are clearly marked). For each 8-ounce bag of the special candies sold, the makers of M&M (Masterfoods) will donate 50 cents to the foundation.

Of course before passing this on to our readers, I checked the announcement out on: www.http://hoaxbusters.ciac.org. Whenever you receive something via e-mail, always check it out prior to sending it to all your friends:). The site is easy to use and navigate.

Running Simply To Stay In One Place

Queen Me talks...

Maybe you don't know this, but I'm writing a book. This summer, I had a great time interviewing 10 women ranging in age from 50 to 100.

My dear 100-year-old friend shared an angel story with me. I'm digressing here, but her angel tale moved me so. Annie told me, "I was sitting on my bed and three of the most beautiful creatures you have ever seen were flying over my head. Their colors were vibrant--purple, blue, pink and red. One flew down and knelt on the ground before me, placing her dear little hands on my knees. I reached for her, but grabbed air. The other two came towards me while holding hands with a man wearing a gold crown. Lately, they've been coming more often fluttering above my head." Later that visit, she told me she was ready to go home. With the sudden appearance of angels in her waking life, maybe home is not too far away.

Today, though, I'm more interested in sharing something that "Pinkie" told me. Pinkie is an 83 year old woman, ex Navy gal, that loved to talk about the Red Queen in Alice and Wonderland. Worried about all her children, which included me at the moment, she said, "Here's what the Red Queen said to Alice, 'My dear child you have to run everyday so very, very hard just to stay in the same place.'" Pinkie continued by saying, "You've got so many choices. Today, you can be anything you want to be. But you've got to experience life. Somedays, like the Red Queen, you've got to run and run and never catch up. But, one day you will be in your eighties and have to look back. If you can attain at the end of your active life the knowledge that you gave it your all, you will be successful."

Yoga Queen jumps in . . . .

Okay, so I'll have to remember that the next time I'm in the middle of a normal day, but waiting till I'm 80 is such a long, long time. Ha! See, I have three children under 10. Of course since July, I've been waiting for school to start. Well, thank goodness for Labor Day Holiday so we can sleep in! Church? Ha! That's when we can all catch up on our sleep! And, when is that next summer break? Now my days are filled with stressing about car pools, getting to school on time, cafeteria duty, library duty, supply room duty, pooty duty! Ha! Does it ever end? Did I fail to mention that I squeeze working in there somewhere? Yes, in a wonderful, relaxing aromatherapy bath--any salts will do. Calgon, take me away . . . .

This Red Queen is tired:).

Queen Me wraps this one up . . . .

Of course, we all have Red Queen days. I try really hard to avoid them, though. Later, we'll find a Queen for our site that can help us all do a better job of streamlining our lives. But for now, hopefully the next time I'm in the throws of a long, long run (figuratively speaking, mind you), I'll try to remember Pinkie and her sparkling eyes. You see, I believe that Pinkie got it right.

And, now we're signing off for a long weekend break. Hope all you other Queens will do something fun or at least pamper yourselves. Later . . . .